Finding a Needle in a Haystack

“It’s like finding a needle in a haystack” the doctor said to me this morning during my check-up appointment at 10 weeks. The baby’s heartbeat is almost impossible to hear with the fetal doppler before 12 weeks and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I’d heard the heartbeat and seen the baby on the ultrasound screen just two weeks before, but it seemed like a lifetime. It’s like a drug longing to be part of me again.

I took a deep breath as she placed the cold lotion on my stomach and moved the doppler around. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

Okay! She said not to worry. It’s ok. I’ll hear it in a few weeks when I return. Don’t get upset. For God’s sake, don’t cry again!

Just when I thought she was going to give up, I heard that beautiful music to my ears. My baby’s heart was beating at 172 beats per minute – perfectly healthy. The feeling that came over me when I heard another heart beating inside of me is indescribable.

It was obviously real before that. After weeks of morning sickness and excessive tiredness, I knew all too well that extreme changes were taking place inside of me, but each time I hear my baby’s heart beating, it instantly becomes real and more loved than anything else that exists in my life, past, present, or future.

It is a precious miracle that makes my own heart beat a little faster and I easily forgot about the embarrassment of crying once again. Nothing else existed at that moment – just my new, growing, heart-beating baby.

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69 thoughts on “Finding a Needle in a Haystack

    • Thank you!
      It’s great to see that others enjoy traveling just as much.
      Your trip to Mexico is beautiful and makes me want to go back to Cancun soon. My favorite part of Xcaret was swimming with the dolphins. I didn’t see that in your blog; did you get a chance to do it?

      Lesley

      Like

  1. If you think you feel love now….wait till they place your darling baby in your arms….from the song..”I would die for you”…is so true! I beleive that is why daughters become closer to their mothers after giving birth. They finally understand a Mother’s love!

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    • I think my pregnancy has lowered my IQ by about half. I’ve found myself forgetting why I walked out to the kitchen or why I drove to the grocery store. (Who are you again? 😉 One typing mistake is hardly a concern.

      🙂

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    • I have three brothers and two sisters so traveling with a lot of kids is a familiar concept. I think I’ll need to get through this pregnancy before thinking about having any more though. 😉

      Do you go to Disney in California or Florida? (I know there are others; I’m just assuming it is one of those two)

      Four children must be a handful. What are their ages?

      Thanks for your comment; it is appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

  2. Congratulations on your pregnancy Lesley! Nice to ‘meet’ you – and thank you for your ‘like’ on my Maritime Colours post! I like your blog a lot and am going to subscribe via google reader 🙂

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  3. Congratulations!!! How exciting!!!

    Thanks for stopping by on my blog! I’m excited to read more of yours! I LOVE travel stories! You’re baby is very lucky to be able to begin seeing the world at such a young age!

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    • Traveling is one of the most important aspects of my life, after family of course.

      I can only hope that it is a joy that I will experience with my daughter.

      Thanks for commenting; it is appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

    • I can only hope that my child will enjoy traveling half as much as I do. It shapes a person and their life.

      Do you have any children?

      Thanks for taking the time to comment; it is appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

    • I recently found out that I’m having a girl! It’s such an exciting time filled with new adventures. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that everything runs smoothly . Pregnancy can be tough at times but the benefits far out way the negatives.

      Your photos in Love in The Eternal City Part 1: The Arrival are enchanting.

      Thanks for commenting,

      Lesley

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    • It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life and they just keep coming. I can’t wait until I can see her precious little hands, feet, face… for myself rather than looking on a monitor.

      How old is your little girl? Do you just have the one child?

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

  4. Thanks for “liking” my post on my blog. Your blog sounds so interesting with all of your travels and adventures! Best of luck with your pregnancy – a little girl! I have a 16 mo. old girl. Being a mom is the most wonderful thing – all new adventures in life. 🙂

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    • I can’t wait until the day I actually see my precious little girl, and not just on a monitor but I get to hold her in my arms rather than in my belly.

      Is your little girl a “girly” girl or does she like “boy-like” things? I can only hope my baby will exhibit a little bit of both. Taking her on trips and adventures will be the most wonderful experience.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.

      Lesley

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      • You will love it, no doubt. Abby is a good mix of girly and boy-like. She has cute girly clothes and hair accessories but she likes trucks, trains, and being outside on hikes and in nature. I think it has a lot to do with what you provide them with as the parent and the types of environments you have them in. They eventually come into their own then. Your little one will have the best adventures I’m sure!

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  5. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Being a mom will be one of your wildest rides yet! Thanks for leaving a “like” on my post. Just spent a fascinating hour going through your older posts. You have a remarkable joie de vive!

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  6. WoW! You’ve done quite a bit… but I think this will be your most exciting adventure to date! Congratulations!

    Glad you stopped by today,
    Lynda

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    • It already is the happiest most exciting journey of my life and she is not even here yet. I can’t wait to travel and have new adventures with my beautiful, baby girl.

      What a beautiful photo in your Photo Friday: mood swings post.

      Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

  7. Hey Lesley, thanks for stopping by 1107photography and offering a “like”. Your new adventure described above will lead you down paths you never saw coming. I’ll enjoy stopping by here from time to time. Congrats!

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  8. Congratulations! I hope you have a happy, healthy baby girl. I have two daughters. The oldest is 33 and the youngest is 21. My 21 year old daughter has a son who just turned two. You’re in for a great adventure!

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  9. Congrats on your current “adventure”–my prayers for a safe landing & good health all around! Many thanks for visiting my website today–God bless you & your family! CV

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  10. Thanks for stoppping by AngelLeighDesigns today…. wow, your blog is very exciting in many ways! Very best of luck on the birth of your probable daughter. Hmmmm, “probable daughter” makes a nice sound. I’ll be back!
    xx
    Angela

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  11. Thanks for you like on my “Why it’s okay to mismatch during Winter.” I love the idea behind your blog and this post is absolutely beautiful. I’m so glad to have found another travel-loving person.

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  12. Thanks for your visit to my WordPress site. I travel in smaller circles… but I have had two wonderful sons and am now a grandmother! Wishing you all the best in all of your adventures and ventures.

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  13. Yeah, I remember hearing that. The giant sound of the beating of that tiny heart makes everything else seem so small. *having a moment*. Even now that they (my kids, especially my sons) are bigger, I still like to listen to their beating heart. I’m sure you’re further along now and could possibly be feeling the first kicks of your precious cargo. Congratulations!!!

    P.S. Thanks for liking my post.

    Like

  14. Hej from Sweden,
    Oh what a wonderful and intimate thing to share with all of us! I have taught birthing courses and parenting courses in the USA and babies on the way are extra special to me. I am so happy for your experience and once again I thank you for sharing it with us.

    I would also like to thank you for clicking on the “like” button on my recent post Pedicures and New Earrings at Gullringstorp! That was really nice of you. I hope you return and read some of my older posts. Someone once said my blog was like a virtual tour of our farm Gullringstorp.

    Take good care of the two of you and I look forward to updates!

    GullringstorpGoatGal

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    • I have found great happiness in my life but it is with pregnancy that I’ve learned what was missing. I can’t wait to explore the world and experience new adventures with my baby girl!

      Do you have any children of your own?

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

  15. Pregnancy is the most beautiful miracle – ever! It is a privilege to be able to enjoy it. Yes, it has its’ downsides but overall is a wonderful experience. Cherish every moment! Congratulations! I wish you a healthy, beautiful, bouncing baby!

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  16. I love this feeling and know exactly what you are talking about… 2 times over! Congratulations on this new adventure I am sure you will enjoy it to the fullest. My husband and I are doing things a little flip flopped from you and had our kids first and now starting to travel more and look into things like sky diving and more. I’d love to hear about your favorite place to do all of these fun and wild adventures!

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  17. What a great post. Just wait until you get kicked or feel a little foot pressing from inside. I remember it so clearly and my youngest is 17!
    P.s. We travelled everywhere with the kids from the age of 4 months old. Now we are going to Mexico after Christmas and they are 17, 21 and 23 – and the 23 year old is brining his fiancee!

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  18. Congratulations – tho your travels days may be over for a little while! My husband and I started traveling more once our two boys left home, but if you have good support system (grandmas and the like) you should still be able to get away. Major congrats – and thanks for “liking” my post, too.

    Like

    • My getaways will include my baby girl and my husband. I can’t wait to show her new countries, cultures, and adventures. I may stick around California for the first few months after she’s born, but travel and adventure have shaped my life as much as my family and friends; it will just include an extra person now 🙂

      Like

  19. Hey Lesly,

    Thank you so much for your like on my Healthy Tuna salad 😛
    I feel ridicules now comparing my blogs to yours haha ..
    I am from Kuwait & I’m sure Kuwait was not one of the 30 countries you visited. I feel that I don’t belong here & I decided to write about some of my thoughts in my blog. Other blogs I wrote, like the tuna recipe was just to have other things the readers might want to read. I know for fact that no one wants to read about problems all the time, but I had to do that for all the girls in Kuwait.

    Cheers & keep up the adventures 🙂

    DreamerKw

    Like

  20. Thanks for visiting my blog! I love this post! But I am IN LOVE with all your travels! Once the kiddies get older I hope to pick up from my college years and get moving, until then I will come here for mental vacations!

    …wait til the first kicks…you will be melt!

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    • Travel and adventure have shaped my life as much as family and friends. I can only hope that when my baby girl arrives I can show her new countries, cultures, and adventures.

      It was during the last week that I started to feel her kick regularly. Even as I type, I’m feeling movement. It brings a smile to my face with every little flutter. I couldn’t be happier.

      How many children do you have?

      Lesley

      Like

  21. You’re awakening memories that I thought were long forgotten. My four children(?) are now aged between 23 and 33, but you’ve brought back the feelings I experienced when I had that first scan and realised that I had a real baby growing inside of me. Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy, because you’ll never feel the same way again. I remember how special I felt (once the sickness was passed) and how excited I was at the prospect of getting bigger and bigger and then finally giving birth. I had one obstetric book, written for pregnant women, and it became my bible. I constantly referred to the pictures showing the size of a pregnant tummy throughout the nine months and compared them to how I looked in the mirror! Every moment of every day is so new, different and exciting as your body changes and you plan for the future for your baby, and the miracle of childbirth. Enjoy. Enjoy.

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  22. Thanks for visiting my blog! I’m an adventure traveler, too, but one with confidence issues. That’s why I so enjoyed reading about the amazing things you’ve managed to fit into your life to date. I wish you and the new little hitch-hiker in your family many wonderful journeys together!

    Like

  23. Thank you, so much for visiting my blog and clicking the like button. Congratulations on your new little sweetie that is growing and getting already for your loving arms. Hugs

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  24. Good luck with that new life on the way–I’ll never forget feeling those ‘bubbles’ pop inside my hip; the first time I realized my guy was moving around in there!

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  25. Congratulations on your wonderful news!
    A friend of mine took a photo every Friday (or whatever day you would nominate) every week after she was showing and then made a flip-book type thing where you could flick the photos and see the baby “growing”. Really cool idea.
    Enjoy your pregnancy, it will only happens few times in your life and is a very special experience.
    Don’t worry or stress too much about the birth … it’s AFTER that that the real fun and hard work begins!

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    • Since I am obviously completely crazy about photography, I love that idea! It fits my life perfectly!

      Thanks for a wonderful suggestion and for taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.

      Lesley

      Like

  26. This is a sweet post. For one reason or another there were no printouts from the ultrasound scans when my kids were born so I’m making a collection of my grandchildren. I swear that their individual personalities and facial expressions can be seen if you look with enough imagination.

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  27. Congratulations on the pregnancy and best of luck for the future. Thank you for liking my post. I hope you’ll pop by and read some more in future.

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  28. Ultrasounds…oh, how I wish they were more readily available when I was having children some 40 years ago. Much appreciative of the “like” on my Adirondack post. You’ve inspired me to create my own bucket list. Never too late to begin, even at 60, wouldn’t you say, Lesley?

    Like

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