My Husband is Not My Prince Charming

Destination Wedding Jamaica
My husband is not my Prince Charming. Never has been. Never will be. I’ll never be like Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, or Snow White. It’s not the type of relationship we have. So why are we married? Well, I never wanted a Prince Charming husband, someone that sweeps me off of my feet and “rescues me.” I want, a partner, someone who shares in my passion and works alongside me rather than in front of me. Thankfully, Darren is not my Prince Charming.
Go Dirty Dune Buggy Tours, Fiji
Prince Charming is someone who comes to the rescue of the damsel in distress and stereotypically must engage in a quest to liberate her from an evil spell. Does that sound like the role of a man or woman in this century? It certainly wasn’t my situation when I met Darren. I was independent, driven, passionate about life and adventure. I worked as a high school English teacher, traveled regularly (often on my own), and experienced life to the fullest. I didn’t need someone to rescue me; someone to wipe the dirt or bird poop off of my face… maybe. (True story about the bird poop. Now, that’s my version of Prince Charming.)
Travel Adventure Alaska
Everglades Adventure Tour
As our relationship flourished, we moved even further away from Prince Charming and Cinderella. We jumped at the chance to participate in extreme adventures together and I began my blogging journey, forging my own path as an independent person. We became equal partners in life and divided the roles based on likes and dislikes rather than gender expectations.
Family Photo
We have careers and independent directions that happily weave in the middle and compliment each other. Happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale filled with princesses and princesses. It’s a choice; a partnership; a lifelong commitment.
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154 thoughts on “My Husband is Not My Prince Charming

  1. Love this! My husband isn’t my Prince Charming, either. But I still think he’s the most fantastic man I know, and there is no one else who would ever make me happier. We both work, both out of the home and at home. We both have hobbies. This is what 21st century relationships look like to me — mine and yours.

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  2. You obviously don’t need someone to take care of you, Lesley. But, a true marriage is a partnership. My parents will mark 55 years of marriage this June. They’ve had their tough times, but there are thousands of more great times. My best to to the two of you in your continued life together.

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  3. Prince Charming or not – redefine the image of ‘Prince Charming’ and anyone can lead their own fairy tale – might not be the conventional fairy tale but it’s still each individual’s fairy tale 🙂 it’s having a best friend with lots of happiness and love 🙂

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  4. You took the words out of my mouth, Leslie. Love is a choice–one that needs to be affirmed every day. I believe falling in love is easy; it’s the decision to be committed that’s difficult for some. And when Athena gets older and starts watching Disney movies? You’ll have to explain things to her in “realistic” terms.

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  5. Love your fishtail braid! Your husband could be my husband’s brother!! And mine is definitely not a Prince Charming. Though, sometimes it’d be nice to see that side….not gonna lie! You guys are a gorgeous, adventurous family!

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    • I think you mean in the Disney sense. And I think Kellisamson has a point. The fairy tales express a part of ourselves (‘sometimes I’d like to see that side…-in her case she is talking about in her partner). We have a part of ourselves that is awakened like Snow White, but perhaps from within. I love the fairytales because they awaken our imagination. But really they don’t give us answers but questions. I’m amazed about the journeys you both have foraged together as partners. Congratulations. In our day you can buy a princess costume, or dress up as a princess for a prom… but it is the personal discovery that allows us to shine with inner beauty every day.

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  6. Great post. I too decided after being independent in a previous relationship I needed to find a partner in this journey. Someone to walk beside me, not in front or behind. I have found my partner and equal other half.

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  7. Love this! I had a Prince Charming once and it was like a fairy tale, and I was swept off my feet, blah, blah, blah … It ended badly, of course. Fantasy can’t merge with real life. I’m happier now with a partner, an equal, a non-Prince Charming (Prince Partner?). I love the last pic of you and your hubby and daughter on the bench. It’s so languid yet it says so much. Big hugs to you all.

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  8. I love this!! My husband definitely at times sweep me off my feet but not because I need or want him to… Because it’s the small things like getting dinner started, picking up milk, walking the dog that really rescue me some days x

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  9. Sounds to me as though you have been swept off your feet by your prince, he just happens to look and act a little differently to Disney – a realistic view of happy ever after. Prince Charming and Happy Ever After don’t exist as we are brought up to believe, reality looks and smells different, but what would we rather in the end? Happily ever after, or a future with someone real?

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  10. The mark of a real relationship is keeping a true sense of self, while creating a new, separate “couple” identity. Kudos to you and Darren for living a real fairytale, warts and all, as real happiness is experienced alongside sadness/stress. Wishing you many happy, healthy and prosperous years together.

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  11. Great post! I couldn’t agree more–I even told my now-husband that if he surprised me with a proposal, I might be inclined to say “no.” It’s not that I hate surprises (I love ’em!), but I wanted the decision to get married to be a mutually-agreed upon one. I wanted to talk about it first. I wanted to make sure we were both going into a big decision like that as equal members of a team. Now our first baby is on the way, and I’m hoping that same mindset that we began cultivating four years ago will allow us to become fair, honest, and happy parents.

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  12. My husband is my best friend and I am his. That was always the number one thing I wanted from a relationship and marriage – someone who I could share my whole life with. I find the idea of someone coming in and “rescuing” me to be preposterous and there is nothing traditional about our marriage. I am the primary breadwinner and he runs a small business from home, while also doing all the house work. If anything, I am his Prince Charming. Lol!

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  13. Prince Charming and Cinderella – no, but some old fashioned courtesy never hurt anyone (sorry I think it’s just plain old good manners). The rest, well, we already have that, but we are also each others biggest fans. Have it all – hell yeah! 🙂

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  14. Pingback: My Husband is Not My Prince Charming | Rbtaleman's Blog

  15. I feel the same way about my husband. He is my partner, which is something I always wanted from a spouse. We each have strengths, and I like that we balance each other out. We support each others dreams, but are building on a shared dream. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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  16. It is the same in my house with 2 exceptions! I don my armor to charge into battle to rescue her from giant spiders in the bathroom and creepy green covered left overs in the fridge. Otherwise we are right there with ya!

    Great post!

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  17. The subject had me….. I couldn’t go ANY further. Are you reading my mind. He’s a great person but he drives me bat ship cra- cra! (I’ll read it after I finish my post for today) 🙂

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  18. Pingback: My Husband is Not My Prince Charming | free2live282000

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