Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Posted on September 2, 2011 by lesleycarter

“It’s like finding a needle in a haystack” the doctor said to me this morning during my check-up appointment at 10 weeks. The baby’s heartbeat is almost impossible to hear with the fetal doppler before 12 weeks and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I’d heard the heartbeat and seen the baby on the ultrasound screen just two weeks before, but it seemed like a lifetime. It’s like a drug longing to be part of me again.

I took a deep breath as she placed the cold lotion on my stomach and moved the doppler around. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

Okay! She said not to worry. It’s ok. I’ll hear it in a few weeks when I return. Don’t get upset. For God’s sake, don’t cry again!

Just when I thought she was going to give up, I heard that beautiful music to my ears. My baby’s heart was beating at 172 beats per minute – perfectly healthy. The feeling that came over me when I heard another heart beating inside of me is indescribable.

It was obviously real before that. After weeks of morning sickness and excessive tiredness, I knew all too well that extreme changes were taking place inside of me, but each time I hear my baby’s heart beating, it instantly becomes real and more loved than anything else that exists in my life, past, present, or future.

It is a precious miracle that makes my own heart beat a little faster and I easily forgot about the embarrassment of crying once again. Nothing else existed at that moment – just my new, growing, heart-beating baby.

69 thoughts on “Finding a Needle in a Haystack”

chasethewanderlust on September 2, 2011 at 5:30 am said:

Hi Leslie, thanks so much for your “like” on my entry about Cancun. I love your travel blog and look forward to reading more. 🙂

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- lesleycarter on September 2, 2011 at 5:52 am said:
  
  Thank you!
  It’s great to see that others enjoy traveling just as much.
  Your trip to Mexico is beautiful and makes me want to go back to Cancun soon. My favorite part of Xcaret was swimming with the dolphins. I didn’t see that in your blog; did you get a chance to do it?
  
  Lesley
  
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jeri54 on September 17, 2011 at 11:00 am said:

If you think you feel love now….wait till they place your darling baby in your arms….from the song..”I would die for you”…is so true! I beleive that is why daughters become closer to their mothers after giving birth. They finally understand a Mother’s love!

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jeri54 on September 17, 2011 at 11:01 am said:

And from one English teacher to another, that should read…believe:)

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- lesleycarter on October 3, 2011 at 12:52 am said:
  
  I think my pregnancy has lowered my IQ by about half. I’ve found myself forgetting why I walked out to the kitchen or why I drove to the grocery store. (Who are you again? 😉 One typing mistake is hardly a concern.
  
  🙂
  
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lesleycarter on September 18, 2011 at 5:38 pm said:

The relationship with my mother is already growing stronger. I cherish every moment of being pregnant and I look forward to the continued support and love from my family.

🙂

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irisofthewayfarer on September 20, 2011 at 11:16 pm said:

Oh I wish you a most wonderful pregnancy. It is truly a miracle.

thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving your mark 🙂

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- lesleycarter on September 20, 2011 at 11:26 pm said:
  
  There is nothing that makes me happier than knowing that I am soon going to be a mother.
  
  Thank you for your comment. 🙂
  
  Lesley
  
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Dalai Lina on September 21, 2011 at 1:35 am said:

So sweet…I remember those appointments. Four kids later and we still manage to travel – its just to Disney 🙂

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- lesleycarter on September 21, 2011 at 3:40 am said:
  
  I have three brothers and two sisters so traveling with a lot of kids is a familiar concept. I think I’ll need to get through this pregnancy before thinking about having any more though. 😉
  
  Do you go to Disney in California or Florida? (I know there are others; I’m just assuming it is one of those two)
  
  Four children must be a handful. What are their ages?
  
  Thanks for your comment; it is appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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Debsie_K on September 29, 2011 at 6:31 pm said:

Congratulations on your pregnancy Lesley! Nice to ‘meet’ you – and thank you for your ‘like’ on my Maritime Colours post! I like your blog a lot and am going to subscribe via google reader 🙂

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- lesleycarter on September 29, 2011 at 7:46 pm said:
  
  Being from Nova Scotia, the flag caught my eye immediately. Everything about your post reminded me of home. 🙂
  
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E. He on October 2, 2011 at 3:46 am said:

Congratulations!!! How exciting!!!

Thanks for stopping by on my blog! I’m excited to read more of yours! I LOVE travel stories! You’re baby is very lucky to be able to begin seeing the world at such a young age!

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- lesleycarter on October 2, 2011 at 3:47 am said:
  
  Traveling is one of the most important aspects of my life, after family of course.
  
  I can only hope that it is a joy that I will experience with my daughter.
  
  Thanks for commenting; it is appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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happysherlock on October 3, 2011 at 12:16 am said:

Hi Lesley
Congratulations!!
Thanks for dropping by my blog 🙂
You have such exciting travel adventures and I’m sure there’ll be more to come with baby in tow!

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- lesleycarter on October 3, 2011 at 12:44 am said:
  
  I can only hope that my child will enjoy traveling half as much as I do. It shapes a person and their life.
  
  Do you have any children?
  
  Thanks for taking the time to comment; it is appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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watersyllables on October 4, 2011 at 12:53 am said:

thank you lesley for having this one. come to my island soon.

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theworldviastandby on October 5, 2011 at 7:32 pm said:

Congratulations! I absolutely love your blog and enjoy reading about your adventures. I’m also a few weeks pregnant so it’s so nice to read about other adventurous soon to be mommies!

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- lesleycarter on October 5, 2011 at 7:43 pm said:
  
  I recently found out that I’m having a girl! It’s such an exciting time filled with new adventures. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that everything runs smoothly . Pregnancy can be tough at times but the benefits far out way the negatives.
  
  Your photos in Love in The Eternal City Part 1: The Arrival are enchanting.
  
  Thanks for commenting,
  
  Lesley
  
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arlene on October 9, 2011 at 2:33 am said:

Love this…it reminds me of the days when I had my baby girl. Thanks for visiting my site Dreams and Escapes.

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- lesleycarter on October 9, 2011 at 3:09 am said:
  
  It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life and they just keep coming. I can’t wait until I can see her precious little hands, feet, face… for myself rather than looking on a monitor.
  
  How old is your little girl? Do you just have the one child?
  
  Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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virginiaisformaugles on October 9, 2011 at 4:24 am said:

Thanks for “liking” my post on my blog. Your blog sounds so interesting with all of your travels and adventures! Best of luck with your pregnancy – a little girl! I have a 16 mo. old girl. Being a mom is the most wonderful thing – all new adventures in life. 🙂

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- lesleycarter on October 9, 2011 at 4:28 am said:
  
  I can’t wait until the day I actually see my precious little girl, and not just on a monitor but I get to hold her in my arms rather than in my belly.
  
  Is your little girl a “girly” girl or does she like “boy-like” things? I can only hope my baby will exhibit a little bit of both. Taking her on trips and adventures will be the most wonderful experience.
  
  Thanks for taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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  - virginiaisformaugles on October 9, 2011 at 4:34 am said:
    
    You will love it, no doubt. Abby is a good mix of girly and boy-like. She has cute girly clothes and hair accessories but she likes trucks, trains, and being outside on hikes and in nature. I think it has a lot to do with what you provide them with as the parent and the types of environments you have them in. They eventually come into their own then. Your little one will have the best adventures I’m sure!
    
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    - lesleycarter on October 9, 2011 at 5:46 am said:
      
      She sounds adorable! 🙂
      
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saltandserenity on October 9, 2011 at 2:13 pm said:

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Being a mom will be one of your wildest rides yet! Thanks for leaving a “like” on my post. Just spent a fascinating hour going through your older posts. You have a remarkable joie de vive!

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- lesleycarter on October 9, 2011 at 6:33 pm said:
  
  Everyday I become more and more excited about being a mother. I anxiously await the day that I can travel and experience new cultures with my daughter.
  
  Do you have children?
  
  Your pictures are beautiful, especially the first one in The Best Thing I Ate Today In Umbria Day 5, http://saltandserenity.com/2011/10/08/the-best-thing-i-ate-today-in-umbria-day-5/
  
  Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.
  
  Hopefully, I will see you back again.
  
  Lesley
  
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pixilated2 on October 14, 2011 at 7:00 pm said:

WoW! You’ve done quite a bit… but I think this will be your most exciting adventure to date! Congratulations!

Glad you stopped by today,
Lynda

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- lesleycarter on October 14, 2011 at 7:11 pm said:
  
  It already is the happiest most exciting journey of my life and she is not even here yet. I can’t wait to travel and have new adventures with my beautiful, baby girl.
  
  What a beautiful photo in your Photo Friday: mood swings post.
  
  Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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1107photography on October 15, 2011 at 12:25 am said:

Hey Lesley, thanks for stopping by 1107photography and offering a “like”. Your new adventure described above will lead you down paths you never saw coming. I’ll enjoy stopping by here from time to time. Congrats!

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thirdhandart on October 20, 2011 at 1:36 am said:

Congratulations! I hope you have a happy, healthy baby girl. I have two daughters. The oldest is 33 and the youngest is 21. My 21 year old daughter has a son who just turned two. You’re in for a great adventure!

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winecountrydiaries on October 24, 2011 at 4:17 pm said:

I was so relieved to learn your baby’s heartbeat appeared for your to hear! Congrats! This will be the best ride of your entire life!

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Caddo Veil on October 24, 2011 at 7:53 pm said:

Congrats on your current “adventure”–my prayers for a safe landing & good health all around! Many thanks for visiting my website today–God bless you & your family! CV

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angelleighdesigns on October 24, 2011 at 8:32 pm said:

Thanks for stoppping by AngelLeighDesigns today…. wow, your blog is very exciting in many ways! Very best of luck on the birth of your probable daughter. Hmmmm, “probable daughter” makes a nice sound. I’ll be back!
xx
Angela

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lscotthoughts on October 24, 2011 at 9:42 pm said:

Hi Lesley,

Thanks for stopping by my blog and “liking” my poem “Lonely.” Your life sounds very exciting and I look forward to reading more about your new baby adventure. My kids are 16 & 20, but it seems like yesterday (cliche) that they were babies! You may enjoy some of my “mommy years” poems, as well and here is one I’d love to share: http://lscotthoughts.com/2011/10/17/blue-eyes/.
Thanks again! 🙂

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devonbarta on October 27, 2011 at 3:06 am said:

I love this!! And I totally get it … CONGRATULATIONS to you! I wish you all the best on this new and amazing adventure. 🙂

~ Devon
Reading with Joey
http://booksatthepaperhouse.com/

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identitysolutions on October 29, 2011 at 2:30 am said:

Congratulations!

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danitacahill on October 31, 2011 at 8:09 pm said:

Love the way you describe this feeling when hearing your baby’s heartbeat. I teared up everytime I heard each one of mine – through all three pregnancies!

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NRW on November 2, 2011 at 12:17 am said:

Thanks for you like on my “Why it’s okay to mismatch during Winter.” I love the idea behind your blog and this post is absolutely beautiful. I’m so glad to have found another travel-loving person.

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CatenaTravel on November 2, 2011 at 10:17 pm said:

Congratulations! Thank you for the “Like” on my post.

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JulesPaige on November 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm said:

Thanks for your visit to my WordPress site. I travel in smaller circles… but I have had two wonderful sons and am now a grandmother! Wishing you all the best in all of your adventures and ventures.

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mslanak on November 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm said:

Yeah, I remember hearing that. The giant sound of the beating of that tiny heart makes everything else seem so small. *having a moment*. Even now that they (my kids, especially my sons) are bigger, I still like to listen to their beating heart. I’m sure you’re further along now and could possibly be feeling the first kicks of your precious cargo. Congratulations!!!

P.S. Thanks for liking my post.

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GullringstorpGoatGal on November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm said:

Hej from Sweden,
Oh what a wonderful and intimate thing to share with all of us! I have taught birthing courses and parenting courses in the USA and babies on the way are extra special to me. I am so happy for your experience and once again I thank you for sharing it with us.

I would also like to thank you for clicking on the “like” button on my recent post Pedicures and New Earrings at Gullringstorp! That was really nice of you. I hope you return and read some of my older posts. Someone once said my blog was like a virtual tour of our farm Gullringstorp.

Take good care of the two of you and I look forward to updates!

GullringstorpGoatGal

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- lesleycarter on November 8, 2011 at 8:47 pm said:
  
  I have found great happiness in my life but it is with pregnancy that I’ve learned what was missing. I can’t wait to explore the world and experience new adventures with my baby girl!
  
  Do you have any children of your own?
  
  Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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z.lynn on November 9, 2011 at 4:38 am said:

Pregnancy is the most beautiful miracle – ever! It is a privilege to be able to enjoy it. Yes, it has its’ downsides but overall is a wonderful experience. Cherish every moment! Congratulations! I wish you a healthy, beautiful, bouncing baby!

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Julie on November 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm said:

Congrats on your soon to be new addition!

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bjcrocker1 on November 9, 2011 at 2:42 pm said:

I love this feeling and know exactly what you are talking about… 2 times over! Congratulations on this new adventure I am sure you will enjoy it to the fullest. My husband and I are doing things a little flip flopped from you and had our kids first and now starting to travel more and look into things like sky diving and more. I’d love to hear about your favorite place to do all of these fun and wild adventures!

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lesliehobson on November 9, 2011 at 5:13 pm said:

What a great post. Just wait until you get kicked or feel a little foot pressing from inside. I remember it so clearly and my youngest is 17!
P.s. We travelled everywhere with the kids from the age of 4 months old. Now we are going to Mexico after Christmas and they are 17, 21 and 23 – and the 23 year old is brining his fiancee!

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kjwinston on November 9, 2011 at 10:09 pm said:

Congratulations – tho your travels days may be over for a little while! My husband and I started traveling more once our two boys left home, but if you have good support system (grandmas and the like) you should still be able to get away. Major congrats – and thanks for “liking” my post, too.

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- lesleycarter on November 9, 2011 at 10:14 pm said:
  
  My getaways will include my baby girl and my husband. I can’t wait to show her new countries, cultures, and adventures. I may stick around California for the first few months after she’s born, but travel and adventure have shaped my life as much as my family and friends; it will just include an extra person now 🙂
  
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Dreamer on November 10, 2011 at 11:34 am said:

Hey Lesly,

Thank you so much for your like on my Healthy Tuna salad 😛
I feel ridicules now comparing my blogs to yours haha ..
I am from Kuwait & I’m sure Kuwait was not one of the 30 countries you visited. I feel that I don’t belong here & I decided to write about some of my thoughts in my blog. Other blogs I wrote, like the tuna recipe was just to have other things the readers might want to read. I know for fact that no one wants to read about problems all the time, but I had to do that for all the girls in Kuwait.

Cheers & keep up the adventures 🙂

DreamerKw

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Wynter Pitts on November 10, 2011 at 4:01 pm said:

Thanks for visiting my blog! I love this post! But I am IN LOVE with all your travels! Once the kiddies get older I hope to pick up from my college years and get moving, until then I will come here for mental vacations!

…wait til the first kicks…you will be melt!

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- lesleycarter on November 10, 2011 at 4:45 pm said:
  
  Travel and adventure have shaped my life as much as family and friends. I can only hope that when my baby girl arrives I can show her new countries, cultures, and adventures.
  
  It was during the last week that I started to feel her kick regularly. Even as I type, I’m feeling movement. It brings a smile to my face with every little flutter. I couldn’t be happier.
  
  How many children do you have?
  
  Lesley
  
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  - Wynter Pitts on November 10, 2011 at 10:51 pm said:
    
    I have 4 girls! 7, 4 and 2 years-old!
    
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Sandra on November 10, 2011 at 5:49 pm said:

You’re awakening memories that I thought were long forgotten. My four children(?) are now aged between 23 and 33, but you’ve brought back the feelings I experienced when I had that first scan and realised that I had a real baby growing inside of me. Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy, because you’ll never feel the same way again. I remember how special I felt (once the sickness was passed) and how excited I was at the prospect of getting bigger and bigger and then finally giving birth. I had one obstetric book, written for pregnant women, and it became my bible. I constantly referred to the pictures showing the size of a pregnant tummy throughout the nine months and compared them to how I looked in the mirror! Every moment of every day is so new, different and exciting as your body changes and you plan for the future for your baby, and the miracle of childbirth. Enjoy. Enjoy.

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lerouxenterprises on November 10, 2011 at 9:56 pm said:

I had three children and each one was special. They have families of their own now and the excitement still exist for me. Those are the most precious nine months in a mothers life.

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Vinny Grette on November 11, 2011 at 3:10 am said:

Thanks for visiting my blog! I’m an adventure traveler, too, but one with confidence issues. That’s why I so enjoyed reading about the amazing things you’ve managed to fit into your life to date. I wish you and the new little hitch-hiker in your family many wonderful journeys together!

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Mumsy on November 11, 2011 at 3:29 am said:

Thank you, so much for visiting my blog and clicking the like button. Congratulations on your new little sweetie that is growing and getting already for your loving arms. Hugs

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Robin Yaklin on November 11, 2011 at 4:54 am said:

Ditto! Congrats and thanks so much for the like on Debut Authors.
This week features a children’s book about a sailor and a dog he found onboard a ship.
Check it out: http://debutauthors.wordpress.com
Just in time for Christmas!

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Joanna Aislinn on November 11, 2011 at 4:59 am said:

Good luck with that new life on the way–I’ll never forget feeling those ‘bubbles’ pop inside my hip; the first time I realized my guy was moving around in there!

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kiwidutch on November 11, 2011 at 6:00 pm said:

Congratulations on your wonderful news!
A friend of mine took a photo every Friday (or whatever day you would nominate) every week after she was showing and then made a flip-book type thing where you could flick the photos and see the baby “growing”. Really cool idea.
Enjoy your pregnancy, it will only happens few times in your life and is a very special experience.
Don’t worry or stress too much about the birth … it’s AFTER that that the real fun and hard work begins!

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- lesleycarter on November 11, 2011 at 6:02 pm said:
  
  Since I am obviously completely crazy about photography, I love that idea! It fits my life perfectly!
  
  Thanks for a wonderful suggestion and for taking the time to comment; it’s appreciated.
  
  Lesley
  
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thebohemianfarmhouse on November 11, 2011 at 10:53 pm said:

Congrats Leslie! So much joy you have to look forward to. I will never forget the first time I saw each kidney bean on an ultra sound. Love reliving that time through new moms.:)

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fredchance on November 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm said:

This is a sweet post. For one reason or another there were no printouts from the ultrasound scans when my kids were born so I’m making a collection of my grandchildren. I swear that their individual personalities and facial expressions can be seen if you look with enough imagination.

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weberlifedesign on November 13, 2011 at 11:21 pm said:

Thank you for your “likes” Congratulations. I can’t believe my little baby is now looking at colleges. Enjoy. Life goes by so fast!

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milli1mill on November 14, 2011 at 4:38 am said:

Great post! Thanks for sharing such a personal experience with the world.

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shop4books on November 14, 2011 at 11:01 am said:

Congratulations on the pregnancy and best of luck for the future. Thank you for liking my post. I hope you’ll pop by and read some more in future.

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jzrart on November 14, 2011 at 9:50 pm said:

Such excitement for you!! There is nothing like motherhood and the love that ensues!! Thanks for liking my blog. Hope you’ll come again!

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corinthrose on November 19, 2011 at 2:06 am said:

Ultrasounds…oh, how I wish they were more readily available when I was having children some 40 years ago. Much appreciative of the “like” on my Adirondack post. You’ve inspired me to create my own bucket list. Never too late to begin, even at 60, wouldn’t you say, Lesley?

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