My New Year’s Resolution – To Get A Divorce

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Samsung Texting

I’ve been cheating on Darren for almost two years and it’s time I admit it to myself and the world. It’s with someone who’s a reliable, funny, genius and never leaves me feeling lost. But if you’re thinking, “What a ‘….'”, give me a minute to explain because I think you’ve been cheating too and it’s time we get a divorce.

He’s someone who knows everything about my life, someone who travels with me on every trip, and someone who is at my side even while I sleep in bed with my husband. His name is Samsung Galaxy S3. While I’m completely obsessed with him, I can’t help but notice how much of my time he consumes. He wants my attention during family dinners, during holidays, and even in the middle of the night. He’s extremely insensitive when it comes to my safety and time with my daughter and my husband. He’s always tempting me to focus on him while I’m driving and even when my daughter wants to dance, he’s shouting out for me. When I’m chatting with Darren and Galaxy’s magical voice appears, I can’t help but loose my concentration. My time is not evenly weighted. The focus needs to be on family and personal relationships first.

Darren and Athena have been patient with my cheating, but that can only last for so long. It’s time for me to get a divorce, but not from Darren… from my phone. The longer we ignore the issue, the worse personal relationships will be affected.

We need to bring our phones back to being an accessory, not a priority.

My 2014 bucket list is in the making and should be complete by the end of the week. As part of my bucket list, and I challenge you to make it part of yours, I’m divorcing my phone and planning to spend a significant amount of time each day completely disconnected.

My family needs to always remain the first priority in my life. Learning to balance my time and making my phone and my computer accessories rather than priorities are crucial.

We only get one shot to make this life count and I’m not planning on wasting it. Some people create a bucket list because they are dying; I created one because I want to live.

In 2014, I vow to divorce my phone. Will you join me? Share this with a friend, and let’s get the “Divorce Your Phone” movement going.

413 thoughts on “My New Year’s Resolution – To Get A Divorce”

      • No I dont really make resolutions either. It was the wrong word to use. Commitment is much better, as it is permanent. I have been consciously improving many areas of my life for many years, so NY resolutions have become redundant. However, there is always still room for improvement!

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  2. I read a statistic that said the average person uses their smartphone in one way or another 100+ times per day. Luckily, I wrote this on a computer, so this doesn’t count against my total…

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      • It’s a great goal. I was without internet connectivity for three days and it was difficult, as smartphones and internet are now so integral to our daily lives…the key is balance…thanks for posting as always!

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    • That’s why I haven’t been around or posting as much lately. I still want to keep blogging and I will use my phone on trips, but I just want to be more aware of how I spend each minute of the day. There’s not enough of them to waste 🙂

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    • I don’t exactly see blogging in the same way. It’s a job, although a job that I love and it gives me the freedom to accomplish all of my dreams and goals. It is a major part of my life and I do spent copious amounts of time doing it, but it gives me time back as well. Playing on the phone when I’m not working is a distraction rather than a help.

      I do want to manage all of my time better though and that includes blogging as well. That’s why I haven’t been around as much lately 🙂

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    • I finally switched to a smartphone a year ago. I am considering going back to a simple flip phone. The “smart” phone is the most annoying thing I have ever owned!

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      • I had a smartphone for 6 months but then it broke. I am now using a 10-year-old Nokia which works perfectly for my needs. I can text, call, use the calendar/notepad function and that’s it. I am sometimes tempted to get another smartphone when I see all the fun apps and downloads you can use on them but I can use a computer for all that stuff anyway. I am happy with my ‘dumb phone’! 🙂

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  6. Pingback: 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself | Bucket List Publications

    • Thank you! I worried about people only reading the first paragraph and thinking I’m actually cheating on my husband, but I think most people would have a difficult time stopping there. Curiosity is in my favor here 😉

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  9. Awesome post and title! My kids were young when a teenager told me one day, “I just wish my mom wouldn’t talk on her phone when we’re in the car together. That’s when I want to talk to her.” I always remembered that, knowing that our time together was too precious to lose.

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    • Not to mention the fact that being distracted by talking on the phone in the car can cause accidents. In the U.K. we have a strict ban on mobile phone use in the car (unless it’s wired up to a handsfree device) and I was shocked to learn that in some states in the U.S. it is actually legal to text and call when driving.

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    • This is the most important part of it all – our kids. My daughter changes every second of the day and I don’t want to miss a thing.

      I wish you many more years of happiness, love, and laughter with your children.

      🙂

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  11. That is great! I destroyed my phone on accident (?) last summer only recently cared to get a new one. The time without constant availability was very liberating. We tend to waste to much time worrying about our virtual existence anyway 😉

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  13. That is so true: phones have definitely become more of a necessity than an accessory. My kids literally think they can’t survive without theirs. I still have a track phone, no Internet capability. Not even a camera — because I have watched my children and, to a certain extent my wife, fill almost ever free moment with their phone or iPod. Your resolution is a terrific one, and something everyone can benefit from. Kudos to you for recognizing it in yourself 😉

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  16. It’s quite easy. (1) leave the phone at home unless it’s needed for business (2) turn it off when you are to concentrate on anyone or anything (3) never leave it on overnight (4) only answer calls when it’s convenient for you, not the caller. No legal fees are incurred.

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    • I’m not sure if other people experience this, or if it’s just me, but my “smart” phone goes completely bonkers whenever I turn it off for the night. It literally does not start back up correctly the next day, so I’ll have to reboot it. Insane! So my phone stays on 24/7, but I silence it whenever I don’t want to be bothered.

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  17. Pingback: My New Year’s Resolution – To Get A Divorce | Getting Nowhere Fast

  18. Hi Leslie, I LOVE and am totally in favor of your pledge – but less so the term you used (perhaps because of its deeply entrenched negative connotations). Wishing you luck in taking a break from SAM… and much (more) enjoyment with Darren & Athena!

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  19. Last summer I was forced to disconnect because of poor reception where we were vacationing. It was actually awesome. I am on the other end of the spectrum now with my kids, as they are young adults. Communicating via text is paramount in our relationship now, especially with my daughter as she no longer lives at home. But my hubby would certainly appreciate a little more attention. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

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  22. Good post!!! I’ve ask all friends and family when out to dinner lunch or breakfast… to put their little computers on the table. Whoever picks it up first from the table pays the entire bill. It’s been a Success.

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  23. Good for you. I hardly use my S3. I often leave it at home and get fussed at. I long for the days where I wasn’t accessible 24/7. I admit it is nice, but it would be so great to go back to not having to have a tether attached.

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  24. Woah catchy title 🙂 I agree. I am one of those jerks with TWO smartphones (work and personal)… I try really hard to leave them on a shelf for at least one day per week… it’s still quite difficult. Good for you and good luck with Le Divorce 🙂 Erin

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  26. Ha ha! You must give kudos also to the new Joaquin Phoenix movie ‘Her’, about a guy falling in love with the voice on his phone. (I haven’t seen it.) I was already thinking of doing some ‘technology fasting’ as I live and breathe amongst my iPhone, iPad, and MacBook Pro. I also stumbled upon an article the other day about some resorts that specialize in leaving your tech behind, including one in West Virginia in a Radio Free Zone (to protect far-seeing telescopes). Good luck!

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  27. I was thoroughly confused at first but that’s a much happier outcome in the end! 🙂 Here’s a link to a picture of my current phone. http://wp.me/p1lLIu-6W It’s actually wonderful to have a phone that is so freaking old and basic. Just the necessities (and hardly that). And you can only imagine the battery life it has! It can also be a conversation starter! 🙂

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  30. Haha! That scared me for a minute… But, I totally agree. We need to know our priorities. I don’t call my separation from my I-pad, a divorce. Just a time out. After all, my addiction to my click box, as my husband calls it, is not yet that bad. The only time I attend to it is when I am at home. I don’t bring it with me when I go out – not at work, not anywhere. But still, it’s eating a lot of my time and attention. Actually, I sometimes feel guilty that it’s the first thing my eyes look for when I wake up in the morning. What a shame!!! I should be praying to God, not thinking about my e-mails, and social media. But anyway, I am one with you. Today my I-Pad is on the IGNORE list. 🙂 After all, sometimes Siri’s weather forecasts stinks.

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  32. amen! It becomes an addiction in a way. I have seen families eating lunch at a resteraunt together and never once looked up from their phones and spoke to one another, I love technology, but it seems now we have to communicate strictly through devices ahh the future!

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  33. amen! It becomes an addiction in a way. I have seen families eating lunch at a resteraunt together and never once looked up from their phones and spoke to one another, I love technology, but it seems now we have to communicate strictly through devices ahh the future!

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  34. Hi Leslie. I have a smartphone. It takes messages. I turn my ringer off at times so my family get equal time. Everyone important has a designated ring so I don’t run to the phone at every call. If its important the caller/texter/blogger will leave a message or my smartphone will leave a history. I can always call back later. I support you. You’ll be surprised how much you won’t miss. 🙂

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  35. Whew! Had me scare for a moment. 🙂 I don’t have any of those gadgets, but I do need to divorce my computer, for at least a week. Hey! I can’t be away from it too long! Blessings.

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  38. I lost my phone about two weeks ago, and I can’t even explain how peaceful I’ve been without it. I’m also sad to go get a new one next week, but, unfortunately, as distracting as they can be, they’re also fairly necessary. Alas. But I know I’m not going to feel too badly about not being chained to my phone once it is replaced…

    ….I hope.

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  39. I don’t check or answer my phone at the table (mine or in a restaurant). Once I was having lunch with a friend who was always on the phone. After she sent her third or fourth text and answered the third call, I got up, found the server, paid my bill, and left the restaurant. Ten minutes later, I called her to tell her I had left. She couldn’t understand why – even when I reminded her that I had driven nearly an hour to have lunch with her and explained that I did that so we could have lunch and talk. I still find that absolutely amazing.

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  40. This is a great post, and one goal we should all strive to meet! One of my friends has a basket that everyone puts their cell phones in when coming over for dinner. I should put that policy in place! It makes sense – did you come over to hang out and have QT with friends, or to spend time with everyone else on the internet? ha Good luck to you!

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  41. Two years ago I went to MOMA to see the exhibit Talk to Me. The exhibit was about I our obsession with our little robots and computers. We are now talking, texting and emailing more with our phones than talking with the people next to us, our friends and families.
    When my husband and I were having lunch, a young couple sat in the next table next to us. They were didn’t even look up to look at each other. They spent all their time taking and texting in the phone. How rude we thought and what a sad picture.
    I might be old fashioned, but I still like to talk with my friends and husband.

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  42. It took me two years to really get off the phone. For a time, I didn’t use a phone until I gradually learned on how to use it productively. Now I’m using it in the “just the right way.” No more jumping at every beep or ring. I can actually sit still. It’s worth it. =>

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  49. Lesley talk about catching your reader’s attention! That was brilliant. Your idea such a valuable one for all of us no matter what stage of life. As a Mom it two ‘kids’ in their late twenties I can tell you that their childhood years flashed by. I applaud you for seeing the distraction and addiction of technology pulling us away from our loved ones. Now I have to stop writing…I’m on my Smartphone.

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  50. That was great, I agree, when I look at myself I am generally on the phone, computer or some electronic device, unless I am driving or sleeping….

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